Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Houston, we have a blender
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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