Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
