I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
