even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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