I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
