There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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