My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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