Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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