My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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