She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
