Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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