I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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