If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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