Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
