somebody snuck up and got me drunk
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
