Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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