True but thats because hes a fetus.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
