Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
