So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
