Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
