And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize