Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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