So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
