Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
