I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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