I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
