you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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