ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
