i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
