may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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