I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
