My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just high enough for therapy.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
