Sry I called you an 8
i permit you to call me
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
