can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Someone came in the potted fern
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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