wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize