yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
