i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
