the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
