if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
