I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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