It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
