and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
