arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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