This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
