it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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