Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also, beer. Big fan.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
