I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
