I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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