please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
