So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
