i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
