she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I lost the right to judge tonight
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
