There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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