i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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