I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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