Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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