i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
